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Оценки студента, который сдавал IELTS 20 раз.



Этот кейс подробно описан в книге.
Ниже вы можете прочитать Task 1 & Task 2 этого студента, которые он мне прислал на проверку, оценки за 4 критерия и балл за каждое задание. Текст заданий вы также найдете в книге (без оценок за каждый критерий).
В Task 1 я подчеркнула те фразы, которые привели к снижению критерия Task Achievement. Студент частично неправильно понял задание, не полностью последовал инструкциям, а также добавил информацию, которую его не просили включать в письмо.
Task 2 я подробно разобрала в книге.

Task 1


You have received a letter from your bank, asking you to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, the card was missing from the envelope.

  • explain why you are writing

  • express concern about the missing card

  • ask them what they intend to do


Dear Sir or Madam,


I am writing to express my concern about a missing bank card that I had to receive with the current receipt; the copy of it you may find enclosed. Unfortunately, I was unable to find the new credit card in the envelop.


Please, investigate reasons why the new card was not in the enveloped; maybe it was stollen, or it other people had access to it. I would appreciate it if you could keep me aware of the details of this investigation.


No matter what the investigation will reveal, I would like the bank to block that card immediately and reproduce another one. What should I do for it? Should I apply a new form or you can use the form that I applied for the missing card?


I hope the problem will be resolved soon, and I look forward to hearing from you.


Yours faithfully,

xxxxxx

1-234-234-23-23

xxxxx@somedomain.com


Task Response 5

Coherence & Cohesion 7

Lexical Resource 6

Grammatical Range & Accuracy 7

Band 6



Task 2


Some people think that they can be fit by going to a gym, while others think there are other better ways to remain fit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Provide relevant examples from your own experience.


It is a widely acknowledged fact that fitness activities are useful for anyone who wish to care about their body. Indeed, for those who are too slim and want to grow some muscles as well as for those who suffer from additional weight and wish to lose some of it, regular fitness sessions would be the most effective way to accomplish these asperations. This is because the vast majority of exercises people could find in fitness classes are intentionally designed for achieving these goals. Fitness clubs are often equipped with cutting-edge facilities that intended to reduce people's efforts and increase performance outcome, which make the work out process more effective and sometimes, because of reduced efforts, more fun.


On the other hand, doing yoga or cycling are better approaches not only for getting fit but also for being happy and improving the environment correspondingly. It has been statistically proven that yoga, which is full of stretching, balancing, and power exercises being mixed with special breathing technics, positively affects both physical and psychological aspects of human body and increases people's happiness rate. Cycling is also an aerobic exercise, which involves muscules and respiratory system to healthy work, and being used as a transport for everyday commutes can help people lose additional weight or, visa versa, to gain the mass when it is needed. Moreover, if the sufficient amount of people decide to substitute the use of private cars for cycling it would significantly reduce the amount of pollutants exhausted by cars.


The balanced approach, in my opinion, takes the benefits of the both worlds. People, can switch a transport they use for a bicycle that will be a regular fitness activity and the help for the environment, and they can also visit a gym from time to time if they realise that their progress is not enough and some smart technics and equipments are needed to be involved. Yoga, fortunately, can be done at home or even at work. This balanced approach has been perfectly working for me.



Task Achievement 6

Coherence & Cohesion 7

Lexical Resource 6

Grammatical Range & Accuracy 6


Band 6